Well Happy New Year to you all. The Dames have had Mark being a busy boy again with his weekly stars and as he is still suffering the new year hangover from hell I have decided to help him with this task. The truth of it is Mark doesn’t have any fashion sense unlike myself so it was obvious better for me to do this simple what to wear and what not to wear for 2005.
NICKY'S ADVICE
ARIES
Wear: Since you’re good at wrapping people round your
little finger, go for sexy wraparound dresses. You can be a high performer in
ultra-feminine style.
Do not wear: Little stringy bracelets, Kabbalah style red
or new-agey crystal. They diminish your strong look and make it appear as if you
need extra assistance. They are also shite looking.
TAURUS
Wear: The fringed poncho is the cowgirl’s best fashion
friend this year. It covers up a multitude of sins so you can still indulge
yourself ( Hilda & Bex – answer to your prayers). Suede and leather accessories
complete the look.
Do not wear: The old trackie bottoms. Ditch the baggy grey
flannel and whip your derriere into shape! (Hilda I will be checking your
wardrobe next time I see ya)
GEMINI
Wear: Changeable Gemini's like to keep people guessing, and
have a knack of looking totally upto date with the smallest of touches. (Feehily
has a small touch ha ha) In 2005 be a butterfly and mix vintage with the latest
look.
Do not wear: Ditch the bling, hoop earrings and don’t be
tempted to wear a baseball cap. This year the way to go is hair on show. (Bex
that means get ya hair in fashion gal)
CANCER
Wear: With Saturn currently in Cancer it’s time for a
wardrobe overhaul. Crabs need crisp, clean lines, smart suits and a more formal
look. Saturn means business, and you’ve got to dress as if you do too. ( The
dames always mean business – cant imagine them in suits though)
Do not wear: Floaty is out. All the feminine froth and
frill that is the trademark soft-centred crab has to go. Update you pincers too
with hard as nails red. (Hilda, was Bex ever feminine?)
LEO
Wear: Sequined slippers or crystal beaded shoes are the
ultimate bejewelled Leo look. Click your satin-clad heels and take yourself off
to a more exotic life.
Do not wear: Lose that tired old shimmery lip gloss. Be
daring and go for movie star matte (Shite I love me lipgloss)
VIRGO
Wear: Virgo is an accessory addict and you need to shine in
2005 with the new metallic look bags and belts. Pewter, gold, bronze and silver
– a little bit of flash in the right places. (I am quite flash ya know girls –
hope the dames follow my advice)
Do not wear: The Beanie hat – so last year. Get that tea
cosy of your head (This not only applies to Bex but to Mark & Filan as well –
get some fashion sense)
LIBRA
Wear: Jupiters expansive influence sends Libra into label
heaven this year. The cosmic message of 2005 is if you’ve got it flaunt it, and
if you haven’t got it then go get it. (right get out there and get yourselves
some Gucci & I don’t mean sunglasses)
Do not wear: Nothing that’s make do, faded, down at heal or
otherwise grungy. Time to glam it up. (Now Bex will be heartbroken cause I am
talking about her ripped jeans)
SCORPIO
Wear: You’ll need to update your sexy scanties as this year
casts you in role of the seductress! Scorpions look best in cute and curvaceous
mode. Go femme fatale with Elle Macpherson’s fun line of seriously sexy with
Agent Provocateur (not granny knickers or bits of strings Dames)
Do not wear: Patterned wellies – they may be in the shops
but they are never going to do anything for your allure. Trade them in for
girlie heels. (Not sure but bet the dames have a pair each – can just picture
them walking through Hazelwood in them)
SAGITTARIUS
Wear: Fake tan and a tankini. Sagittarians are always
travelling to satisfy their sun-worshipping cravings but they need to give their
skin a break from that ageing sun. Spray on a golden glow and snap up one of
Heidi Klums latest swimwear creations. (now you should all take a look at Dame
Bex’s wrinkles to realise what the sun can do)
Do not wear: We know you are always rushing about but does
it have to be trainers or flats all the time? Get well-heeled – the higher the
better. (right Hilda – you have 4 weeks to practice walking in heels cause we
are banning your trainers right now)
CAPRICORN
Wear: Take your fashion cue from style guru Kate Moss – be
true to yourself and come out with your very own cutting-edge look (Please don’t
get as thin as her though)
Do not wear: Don’t think of hiding behind reflector
sunglasses any more – they are yesterdays news. (Mark stop saying you need them
because of your eyes – stay sober more!!!)
AQUARIUS
Wear: Lots of different fabrics and textures look great on
Aquarians, who are at their best creating their own look. Go for stripey knits
teamed with satin vests, or lacy tops with velvet trousers and chunky jewellery
(sounds vile but you will sure look great)
Do not wear: The Margaret Thatcher look – no pussycat bows,
dangling pearls or patent shoes. (Look like the dames need to go shopping then
cause bet that is all they have)
PISCES
Wear: Brooches are big this year and Pisceans should add a
bit of bling to whatever they are wearing. Go for cute semi precious stones or
have fun and fake it. Don’t go out without one. (Bit granny fied but never mind
girls)
Do not wear: Drop that old survival kit bag you lumber
around with. You’re never going to need all that stuff you hoard in your excess
baggage. Go chic and carry a clutch. (well Hilda check Bex’s luggage before you travel cause her
baggage is always huge and she don’t change does she?)